shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
