Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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