I looked at my own cervix.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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