Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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