Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
