I wish I could teleport
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
