Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
