I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
