Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
