somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How's work?
Spinning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
