This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
third nipple confirmed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize