so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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