She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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