He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
