um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
