didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
