and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
