i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I skipped work to stalk him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
