They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize