maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
