Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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