bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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