is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
