Jerry, you need to find god
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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