the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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