That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
