I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I CAN MOONWALK!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
