This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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