I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
