it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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