shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize