I can text with my tongue
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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