dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
