Screwed.edu
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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