i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
