i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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