There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
