Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
