All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize