Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
