just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
