omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
