dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
