We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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