It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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