it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
this hospital has no fireball
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
