Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Let's get the cat blown out
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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