Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
