Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
