i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
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