so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
