What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
