well you can't waste a boner
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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