so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
