Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
