Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
