I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I AM VODKA MAN
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
