Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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