why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
