sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
