Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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