I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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