Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
