I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
